It was surreal to have finally departed New Zealand. After so many attempts to leave and facing the disappointment, that yet another boat issue held us back, it was both amazing and unbelievable that we were on our way at last.
We finally made it !
When we were planning the trip back in L.A. I was always very clear with Ahmed, that I don't want to put the kids through the possible hardship of a passage as a first sailing experience. That's why we had signed OM up for joining the New Zealand to Tonga ICA Ralley and organized crew, while I intended to fly to Tonga with the kids. Ahmed being Ahmed of course didn't want any of that being used to sail solo but that's the price he had to pay for being married ( to me :-), being responsible.
His wish was always that we would do this passage together as a family. In the beginning unfathomable, I slowly changed my mind over the months working on the boat in New Zealand. We said goodbye to so many boats we made friends with and my heart ached each and every time. All the good memories came back into my mind and it felt wrong to let Ahmed go alone - without his family. Having Inky and Jesse on board helping Ahmed on passage with watches and me being able to solely being there for the kids, where reason enough to re-consider. I tried to focus on the positive things rather than letting my worrying mommy-mind taking over. What amazing experience could it be for them, for all of us ?
The reality of things caught up to us fast. It didn’t take long until a huge wave of seasickness hit the kids, Jesse and myself. Marli, being the first one throwing up, recovered first. After a few hours of seasickness she was back being her beautiful self. She is such a strong, resilient little person. Tayo however struggled more. After 24 hours of not even being able to even keep a drop of water in him, I really started worrying. Thanks to some special drops I carry with me for emergency situations, he finally felt better, even though regular vomiting occurred on and of and he had difficulties keeping food in. What I was not expecting is that it hit me the worst. Wow ! I was not prepared for that AT ALL. All my worries and concerns were always around the kids, how they would handle it, how I can make this passage enjoyable for them and fun. Not for a minute I had imagined that I would be the one struggling so much. I used to get seasick in the past but it was always over after a couple days at the most . Not this time though. Seasickness was my unwilling companion all the way to Tonga.
Being so seasick and having to care for two children, who were suffering themselves, was a big challenge. I was not even able to brush their teeth at times, let alone prepare them healthy food ( silently I was relieved that they weren't very hungry). We were wearing the same clothes for days and only changed if we couldn’t make it fast enough to the vomit-bowl. Things like that get absolutely un-important if you feel so sick. Luckily I found some heavy duty seasickness medication in our medical kit, expired but at least I didn't feel like jumping off the boat anymore. Things got a bit more manageable and I remember vaguely shouting into the ocean that I will conquer this situation and singing into the blue " Strip away, strip away, strip away, what no longer serves me now" ...before the next wave of seasickness brought me back on my back.
But .... there are always two sides to every story. On the bright side, it was truly beautiful to witness the strength of these two kids, who took on this challenge in such a beautiful way. How they dealt with being sick, first shocked by the fact that their tiny bodies wouldn’t function the way they are used to, but after a short period of adjustment they integrated it in their new routine as if it was never different. Tayo soon figured out that the only place he feels better is outside in the cockpit so he spent his days there, marveling at the vastness of the ocean, the force of the wind and waves, the sunrises and sunsets. Another beautiful thing was that me and the kids were so close the entire passage, cuddled up almost 24 hours a day. I had prepared a ton of things to keep them entertained. None of that was needed, we just hung in there together, being close, giving each other comfort and tenderness. We snuggled up in bed, all plied on top of each other depending on which side the boat was heeling over from the centrifugal force of the wind.
Poor captain Ahmed not only had to stay up at night to react to the constant change in winds, he also had to help me taking care for the kids, when I was not able to. He too is a trooper.
Thank god we had Inky and Jesse with us, who helped Ahmed at night by taking over some nightshifts, cooked an occasional meal and entertained the kids, when I was not able to.
It was the first time for us to have Crew on board and it's truly a gift to expose the kids to other grown-ups, who bring different facets into their lives, especially when they are conscious people. So are Inky and Jesse. They brought in some joy and I will forever cherish the moment, where Tayo was sitting on Jesse's lap outside in the cockpit, the sun went down, him being seasick and her singing a beautiful song to him, while he fell asleep under the rising stars in her arms. Or Inky, very keen to catch fish on passage. We are a non-fishing boat as we simply don't like to kill fish, but we agreed that he can go for it. Inky prepared Tayo beforehand and told him, that it's very important to bless the fish for it's life. So one day Inky caught a tuna and the first thing Tayo said: "Inky, don't forget to thank the fish for it's life." It was memorable experience for him and I'm glad he was introduced into taking the life of an animal in such a conscious way. He didn't eat a piece of it though :-)
I share the opinion that everything in life happens for a reason and I don't regret anything I've chosen to do, but I have to say that this passage was not enjoyable at all for me - to say the least. I'm still glad we did it ( if I would have written this post straight away I might have not said so ), mostly to have given the kids the understanding of what it means cross oceans, it's vastness and it's force but I also will say, that I would like to find Crew for Ahmed for the trip back to New Zealand ...
Comentarios